Movies / More Oscar crap

Of course Crash won Best Picture. Why wouldn't Academy members -- I'm assuming they're mostly white and Angeleno -- rally around a film that momentarily relieved them of guilt they feel for living in such a racially segregated city? (I have to admit that I love Ludacris's rant about the racial implications of riding city buses. That, and Don Cheadle's opening, were the only moments in the entire movie that weren't heavy-handed, cheesy, or gag-inducing).

The Morning News has a great list of quotes from other reviewers who disliked the movie as much as I did. A sample: "Contrived, obvious and overstated, Crash is basically just one white man's righteous attempt to make other white people feel as if they've confronted the problem of racism head-on."

Truth, fiction, the Village Voice, Sylvestergate

Village Voice writer Nick Sylvester joins the ranks of defamed young journalists with his recent foray into research fabrication -- i.e., he basically invented a (mostly unremarkable) scene that neatly summed up his thoughts in an article on Neil Strauss's The Game and its effect on NYC dating culture. The obviously weird thing is that the "research" he faked was the kind of thing that most young reporters would not even think of as "research." An assignment requiring lots of time in bars and nightclubs, watching people hit on each other? That's the kind of embedded journalism that a (now former) music writer should be able to handle, right?

Disappointly, he doesn't really do much with the lies and deceit, making Sylvester the writer roughly 2000% less interesting than Stephen Glass who at least endeavored to write a riveting story with his fakery. It's also clear that Jayson Blair's jockstrap is still in need to transport when one finds that Sylvester quotes real people who he never, umm, interviewed.

A note of reality: It's worth pointing out that the juvenile bs foisted upon us by Pitchforkers past and present simply enhances the excellence of journalism that matters from people like him, her, and her.

Art / Richard Misrach slays 49 Geary

First Thursdays at 49 Geary can be overwhelming, people-wise, and underwhelming, art-wise, and this month was different only in that the overwhelmingness was crammed into one place: the Fraenkel Gallery. Packed with people, it also displayed a face-melting collection of Richard Misrach photos.

When I first saw Misrach's photos, I thought immediately of Sebastiao Salgado. Both guys address big themes -- civilizations, seasons, landscapes, human endeavors -- but they do so in vastly different ways. Salgado frames his work around human action; his subjects are migrants, activitists, laborers. Misrach works with earth, light, space; he works with dunes, strangers, cars, power plants. Salgado's work is tied to current events, political movements, regimes, definable moments and recognizable things; Misrach works with more anonymous objects and landscapes. There are much more significant differences between them, but they share a social awareness that invests the best of their work with real intrigue and importance.

Art / Oakland is special in other ways

Last night we checked out the Oakland Art Murmur. Actually, we didn't even know that such a thing existed, and drove over the Bridge intending to see Jason Munn's opening at Bloom Screen Printing. So it was a pleasant surprise to see that little stretch of Telegraph goin off when we got there. Jason's stuff was the best of the art stuff, by far, but the action on the street was out front of Rock Paper Scissors.

That's where we saw a guy burn an American flag. It took him roughly 10 minutes of false starts to light it with a Bic, but just after I took this picture, an ambulance raced up the street, sirens blaring, on its way to some emergency, but it abruptly slowed down when the driver saw the burning flag, and we could see the faces of the other paramedics staring at the guy as they crawled by. It was one of those only-in-Oakland moments. Holla!

SportsCenter catchphrases & their usage contexts

I watch so much SportsCenter that I figured I'd try to chronicle the non sequitors that they use to punctuate excellent sports moments.

• Three beers apiece for my co-workers -- While high-fives among teammates are being exchanged. Derivation: Shawshank Redemption


• What's on the grill? -- Punctuates the moment when someone, usually Dwayne Wade, dunks in someone else's face, i.e. "Jason Collins, what's on the grill?"


• Pay for my dry cleaning! -- Accentuated a Vince-Carter-administered NBA playoff dunk. Derivation: SNL


• Bartender! Johnny Walker Red. -- Highlight involving the Cincinnati Reds.


• _____ has powers comparable to Wonderboy! -- Fill in the blank with any player who is about to do something amazing in the highlight reel. Derivation: Tenacious D.


• That's levitation, homes. -- Dunk that could otherwise be described with the words "helicopter," "windmill," or "tomahawk," or any dunk by Vince Carter or Andre Igoudala in the month of December 2005. Derivation: Tenacious D.


• Bartender! Canadian Club. -- used in conjunction with the Blue Jays, Raptors, or any Canadian NHL team.


• Get to the chopper! -- Variously applied, e.g. Albert Pujols has just hammered the crap out of the ball and is beginning to trot around the bases; Ben Wallace has completely plastered an opponent's dunk attempt and is sprinting back downcourt, where he receives an alley-oop from Chauncey Billups and throws it down in some guy's face; Julius Peppers has just sprinted 20 yards in approximately 1.5 seconds in order to light up a quarterback. Derivation: Predator


• Bartender! Shot of Jack. -- This, I think, was the original "Bartender" exclamation. Usually used in connection with a homerun.


• Bartender! Cuba Libre -- Introducing any story involving Cuba during the World Baseball Classic.


• Kill me, I'm here! -- General exclamation. I've only heard this one once, and it accompanied a hockey highlight. Derivation: Predator


• That's it and that's all. -- Usually to punctuate a player's execution of a coup de grace, e.g. "Allen Iverson's three in the closing seconds puts the Sixers up for good. That's it and that's all." Derivation: Lil Sis


• (Always in progress)